


I Stole an Alien?!

by InfaWrit10



Category: Welcome to Hell - All Media Types
Genre: I was fully planning on sitting this joke out and just, Jonathan’s cousin Christian makes an apppearance, M/M, This is supposed to be a joke but it actually came out kinda cute whoops, area 51 AU, blame @the-shark-well on tumblr for the, boy it’s been a long time since I’ve written something G-rated, but I had to do this, laughing about the memes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 15:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20084233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfaWrit10/pseuds/InfaWrit10
Summary: In the aftermath of the chaotic raid Jonathan had never meant to take part in, he finds himself with an adorable alien in his kitchen with nowhere else to go.





	I Stole an Alien?!

**Author's Note:**

> O K A Y.
> 
> This is by no means the best thing I’ve written, but I had to contribute to this little joke @the-shark-well, @izzydrawsforfun, and @multi-scribble came up with on tumblr. This started because of their cursed joke they so kindly let me join in on! Haha. YOUR FOURTH HORSEMAN HAS COME THROUGH, YOU FIENDS!
> 
> Credit goes to @multi-scribble because I thought their design for Alien! Sock was too cute, so I used it here!
> 
> Also, I told my best friend I was doing this, and she checked in on me a few minutes later over text and said, “How’s your alien furry smut going”. I love her dearly. Thank you for the lovely, golden comment, honey.

“So, you’re… really an alien?”

Jonathan was staring at the… being currently raiding his fridge.

“Yup,” the alien confirmed. He seemed conflicted; the fuzzy green blanket around his shoulders did nothing for the cold front from the fridge. Still, he was hungry, and wanted to try ‘authentic earthling food,’ as he’d put it.

Jonathan, leaning his elbow into the kitchen table to prop his chin onto his fist, cocked a brow. He groaned. He stood up, took the alien by the shoulders, and manually steered him away from the fridge and into the seat he’d just occupied. “Sit down. I’ll make you something.”

The alien’s cheeks and antennae flared bright pink as he hit the seat, unused to such warmth emanating from a body. He’d heard humans were warm, but he’d always thought that was a myth, since every human who’d poked and prodded at him for experiment’s sake over the years had always been so cold. Now, he thought that might have been because the facility was always… what was it the humans in all those movies said? ‘Freaking freezing?’ But Jonathan’s touch had been a shock to his system, and he really liked the sensation.

“I’m shocked you can speak English so well,” Jonathan said, prepping something on the counter.

The alien had calmed; pink fading to yellow as he idly moved about, happily fidgeting in his seat. “All the guards and scientists used to sit down and watch movies together in the other room. Since my containment unit was on a corner, I could see what they were watching around the bend. My species has also been studying humans for a while, so I learned proper English through my observations, and picked up colloquialisms from the movies.”

“Gotcha,” Jonathan said, bringing two sandwiches over to the table. He sat across from his new roommate. “What should I call you?”

He stopped in the middle of his first bite, and set the sandwich back down. “... Sock,” he decided, smiling. “I’ve always liked the sound of it.”

“You do realize that’s not a  _ name _ , right?”

Sock blinked at him. “It’s a noun, though, isn’t it? Names are nouns.”

“Proper nouns can be names,” Jonathan corrected.

Sock cocked his head. “Proper… nouns?”

Maybe they hadn’t covered that in alien English class. “Forget it. Sock it is.”

They ate, and Jonathan slightly smiled when Sock told him how delicious it was.

Later, when Jonathan was doing the dishes, Sock sat back and watched him. He loved watching humans, and now that he knew that this particular human was so warm, when for so many years he’d been so cold, he was determined to feel more of it. Sock thought; how could he get Jonathan to touch him again?

How did humans get humans to touch other humans?

There had been a few scenes in the movies where the two love interests would be seen on top of one another, and that was direct skin-to-skin contact, which seemed nice. In the scene prior, they normally just stared at each other in this really specific way. Sock didn’t really know if he could pull that off. However, practice makes perfect, as the humans say. So he lowered his eyelids, and summoned a smirk.

When Jonathan glanced over at him, he was very confused. “Are you okay?”

Trying for a second longer before he gave up, Sock defeatedly said, “Yes.” There was a beat, and he recovered with a question. “What were you doing at the facility anyway?”

Jonathan sighed. “I mainly went there to make sure my cousin was all right. He’s kind of an idiot. Even though I told him what ‘government-sanctioned murder’ meant he was still hellbent on going. Next thing I know I’m actually  _ in _ the place and I’m like, disoriented, and all I know is that I need to leave.”

“But not without me,” Sock finished.

Jonathan stared at him. Not in the way that the lovers had in the movies, but in a bewildered, complicated way. “No, not without you.”

“Why not?” Sock asked. “Why did you save me?”

Jonathan’s cheeks turned pink like Sock’s had, and the alien got very excited and simultaneously worried over the possibilities of what that could mean. Then he remembered that—oh yeah!—humans do that, too.

“Uum…” Jonathan said, stalling. The truth was that he couldn’t bear to see Sock alone. He’d been standing there looking so… helpless and lonely amidst the chaos, and somehow, Jonathan just felt this… instinct. It was curious and very uncharacteristically passionate, but he was convinced that he couldn't have ignored it. He’d grabbed Sock’s tapered wrist and snuck out the back. He hadn’t thought it would be that easy, but people had still been running in by that point, and all the officials seemed pretty occupied with that.

He wasn’t happy that he’d helped his cousin steal—or was it kidnap?—an alien, but at least he got to keep him.

His cousin was pissed that Sock was the one Jon had taken.

“There was one shooting lasers out of its eyes and you went with the one that acts like a glorified nightlight?!”

“For God’s sake, Christian, he’s a living thing, not a toy. And he doesn’t glow, he just changes color,” Jonathan had responded.

Now, Sock stared at him expectantly.

His eyes trailed down to Sock’s hospital gown and down his legs. His eyes came back up. “It’s weird how human you are…”

“What, have you ever seen an alien before? How do you know what they look like?” Sock teased.

“Well, I saw some of the others back there and they look… not like you.”

Sock shrugged. “I’ve been told that my planet’s conditions are similar enough to Earth’s to warrant a similar biological design. The scientists were really mad at me when I couldn't remember the directions on how to get there… I hadn’t learned to captain the ship yet, so I never thought to remember the way back, honest!” He swore, then pouted. He thought for a moment, biting his lip. Then, tentatively, he asked, “Jonathan, you’re not going to experiment on me, are you?”

Jonathan was not faint of heart, shall we say. He didn’t have much of a reaction to almost anything he found cute. But this? This lost, defenseless alien asking so sweetly if he was going to get the same awful, lonely treatment as before  _ melted  _ him. Sock’s big, round, vivid green eyes lined a hammer up with his heart and  _ smashed,  _ utterly  _ demolished  _ its stony exterior.

“No,” he cooed, and it was so much softer than anything he’d ever sounded like in his lifetime. He snapped out of it, and cleared his throat. “No, no no, it’s—of course not. I wouldn’t put you through that again.”

Sock grinned. “You’re nice. I’m glad you were the one that got me.”

Jonathan’s heart pounded hard against his chest; he searched desperately for something to take his mind off that fact. “Um…” His mind went back to the hospital gown. “Do you wanna see if we can find you some actual clothes?”

————

The lovers in the movies had a habit of taking off the other person’s clothes. Maybe if he could convince Jonathan to help him put his on, it would have the same effect, and he’d be able to feel more of that lovely heat Jonathan radiated.

“I don’t understand why you can’t help me put these on,” Sock said.

Jonathan, red-faced, stood just outside the bathroom door. “... Earthly reasons,” he told him, happy he was able to keep his tone level.

Behind the door, Sock rolled his eyes. Jonathan was fully expecting Sock to be tangled up in the shirt, or God knew what else.

… Yep.

Sock wandered out with half his stomach poking out from underneath the shirt concealing his entire head. He’d managed to figure out the shorts Jonathan had given him, though, which Jonathan was grateful and proud of him for.

“Help,” the alien cutely said, muffled behind the fabric.

Jonathan shook his head. “Try this way,” he said, pulling the shirt down and over Sock’s body.

That felt much better, Sock concluded. It was way better than the scratchy paper hospital gown he’d been wearing for too long. The fabric was loose on him, and it flowed out and draped his body in comfort. He felt Jonathan’s hands pull away from him.

That’s when Sock realized something.

Of course! He’d been overthinking it! Whenever humans needed support, or felt grateful, or felt very happy, they reached out to someone and embraced them. Sock ticked all those boxes, didn’t he?

So he wrapped his arms around Jonathan’s middle and pulled him in.

Jonathan was tense with Sock around him, initially rejecting the contact. Who knew what this was to aliens, and barring that, he dind’ like being touched anyway. But Sock’s arms were so strongly wound around him... admittedly, it didn’t feel terrible. He had to get used to the antennae pushing out an away from his chin, but overall, with Sock’s face burying itself into his thrumming chest, it seemed okay.

Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

_ Christian can get his own damn alien. This one’s mine… apparently,  _ Jonathan thought, indulging himself a little by snuggling the alien a negligible amount.

Sock made a happy sound when he felt Jonathan being at least somewhat responsive, and Jonathan fought back a smile.

_ Yeah. Like it or not, this one’s mine. _

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t raid Area 51 kids, it’s bad for you.


End file.
